5.15.2010

Tough Love Moms

Kai with one of his new toys from Aunt Julie
After a bath

Handsome Boy!


I don't know what I was doing with Bei prior to getting Kai, but I think it vaguely resembled parenting. I always admired those women that I call "Tough Love" mom's. You know the ones...the moms that have boundaries, say no to their children often and take care of themselves in the meantime. I just couldn't find the way to say no to Bei or let him cry and "tough it out." I always thought, that he has been through so much and he is trusting me, I can't let him down. Well...guess who is becoming a "tough love" mom...yes me! Here is an example of what use to happen; Bei would be hungry in the morning, so I would make him oatmeal. Bei would taste it and say, "it is too lumpy." Okay, let me make a new batch, "this one it two smooth." Another batch, "too hot", "too cold", "too flaky", "too salty", "too icky". All new batches... And finally Bei would say, "I want eggs." Okay, so I made eggs. This week, I served him oatmeal and he didn't like it. I tasted it and it was not fit to be served in a nursing home cafeteria...yuck! Okay, so I poured a bowl of Cheerios for him. He started the "it is too soggy", "too hard", "too milky", "too lumpy", "too yucky" and he wanted to eat my Cheerios instead. Nope! I poured yours at the same time and eat yours because we are leaving in 15 minutes and I don't care if you are hungry or not...what? who me? Can I really be a "tough love "mom after all? I think so! Having two children is alot different than having one child, you are more tired you don't have patience and you realize you need to put boundaries around yourself and your child. This will be a win win for all of us in the long run.
The new parenting really started in China with Dan. I had not overly prepared Bei for getting a new sibling because avoidance and denial had always been effective tools for me. Well, Dan didn't think along the same lines. When Bei acted up in China and wanted to ride in the stroller we bought for Kai, Dan got down on his knee and said, "Bei you are no longer a baby, you are a big boy and that stroller is for the baby." Gulp! Oh no Dan! You let the cat of the bag! I was hoping that Bei wouldn't notice that we were adding a child to the family! If he asked me "mom, why are you feeding that baby?", I was going to use the denial method..."what baby?" "Are you sure you see a baby Bei?" "Maybe you should go lie down you must not be feeling well." Well, Dan was right because Bei has stepped up to the plate and he realizes now he isn't the baby anymore and I think he is okay with being the big brother.

Kai is now a happy eating, sleeping and pooping machine!! Two blowouts in two days! Yeah Kai! I just love that little boy! He is super sweet! Bei still has his nasty cold and fortunately is getting lots of sleep!



Thanks again for all the prayers and support!

2 comments:

Beth said...

Liz you always crack me up! I'm so glad to hear everything is umm....working out okay for Kai. LOL! I can't wait to talk to you about your trip!!!
(((Hugs!!!))
Beth

Our Family said...

I echo Beth. Liz you CRACK ME UP!! I have to forward this to John. It will make his day. We've been thinking about you alot and can't wait to talk live.

Take care, Pamela