Kai Kai Sweetie Pie

Doesn't Dan looked Terrified of that fish??? This was Bei's first fish that he every caught and it was all on his own! He loves to fish!

Yep, that is what we call our little guy "Kai Kai Sweetie Pie." The first 1,000 times I said it he would giggle and do his Irish dance for us, but now he looks at me like "come on lady come up with a new one." Well our little Kai Kai Sweetie Pie is always keeping us on our toes. Most recently he was diagnosed with Epilespy or now they call it Seizure Disorder. We are in the midst of many doctors appointment, EKG's EEG's, and therapy. I actually have a funny blog written in my head about all that we have gone through with Kai from the very beginning, however I won't be writing that one because I'm feeling much more reflective and sentimental today. I feel so incredibly grateful to God that I was chosen to be Kai's mother and that He has that much faith in me to take care of this very precious and special child. This little gift from God that was abandoned at birth, left for 14 months with apparently very little physical contact, who could not hold his head up, lift his arms, grasp my finger, babble, passed out at the drop of a hat and had epileptic seizures. I feel very honored and blessed to be his mother. I just LOVE him sooooooooooooooooooooooo incredibly much!!! His special needs seemed to have bonded us even closer together. I wanted to share with you a writing by Erma Bombeck that my friend Becky gave to me and I think it pretty much covers every mother regardless if the special need is a learning disability or cancer. We have all been chosen to parent the children that we are given, give your little one or big ones an extra tight hug today!


By Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by choice, some by accident, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.

Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew.

Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia.

Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you."

"No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps -"Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone.

I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side."

"And what about her patron Saint?" asks the angel.

His pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."


Kai Update

I want to shout from the roof tops because I am so excited; Kai's development has really taken a leap forward.   The first thing that happened is that he can know sit up from the lying down position...that is huge progress!   He will scoot around a little when he is sitting to play with his toys.  He also is standing up by hanging onto furniture!  And is trying to walk when you hang onto his hands...imagine Frankenstein's first steps.  Plus, he now is holding onto me when I hold him, so I am not carrying around a 25 lb sack of potato's.   I sure hope I don't lose my pipes that I have developed by carrying him.   And he is now babbling up a storm.  Now we just have to work on his sleep issues...please pray!  
Again I request that you lift our little buddy Nick Nick up in prayer.  He is having another go around of treatment today because the last Chemo treatment was not effective.   They are really in a battle to keep his sight since he is already blind in the other eye.    


And then he grew up...

For some reason I was under the misconception that I was in total control of Bei's development including his independence from me. However the reality of life somehow likes to come along and kick me along side the head every now and then. The first time I realized I wasn't in total control of Bei's every thought and therefore his life, is when he told me he wanted Alison to be his mom. Let me fill you in on the details of how that all went down. We had spent the morning with Alison and Savannah swimming in our pool. I had noticed that Bei was all over Alison the entire time. Climbing into her lap, hugging her and wanting to be by her all the time. We had just gotten home with Kai and I attributed his need for physical attention to the fact that I was busy with Kai. The odd thing about it is that Bei doesn't know Alison that well, they recently moved into the neighborhood and he had no prior relationship with her. So, Alison and Savannah left and Bei and I were having lunch, when Bei mentioned that "I think Alison should be my new mom and you can be Savannah's mom." Uh...no...that is not how it works....Bei kept insisting that he wanted Alison to be his new mom. Okay, I admit, I started getting jealous... "Bei honey, what do you like about Alison?" Bei's response was "Her skin." Her Skin? "Mom, why is her skin brown?" What? "Mom, why is Alison's skin brown?" Let me describe Alison to you...she is a young, blue eyed, thin blonde with what I would call beautiful sun-kissed skin. You know the kind, it is golden year round and doesn't look like she will ever age... Okay, now I am a scorned mother...he is insisting on a young beautiful mom with unwrinkled, sun-kissed skin and instead he has me! What I really wanted to yell was "If Alison is your mom she isn't going to give you 65 popsicles everyday or let you eat Cheetos for breakfast and she is a bad driver and...and...and...I would make up stuff if I had to...sad on my part, I know. But I gained my composure and instead I said, "okay after nap time we will talk about Alison being your new mom". This next part is kind of mean on my part, but I wanted to nip this in the bud; After Bei woke from his nap, I cuddled him and then said, "okay, lets go get a suitcase to pack your clothes and you can pick two toys out to bring to your "new mom's" house. The rest of the toys are staying here. I sure will miss you Bei." Bei smiled and said that he wanted me as his mom after all. Wheww...that was a close one! Okay, it may be trivial stuff to you all, but it was the first time that I realized that I might not be the "total cats meow" in Bei's world.
So onto the second kick to the head. Recently we were at our cabin and Bei went to visit Dan's brothers kids who have a cabin 2 miles down the road from us. Now, Bei hasn't spent much time away from me. We have never had a babysitter even, but he has gone down to Mark's cabin for an hour or two at the most. Anyway, he was down there for several hours when I asked Dan if he would go down and pick him up. To be honest, I was missing him! Dan came back and there was no Bei. Uh oh...where is Bei? He had gone to Shell Lake with Mark's wife...big uh oh...panic set in for me! I knew he was tired and would fall asleep in the car. I worried that when he woke up he would be scared and cry and scream for me. And to top it off, he didn't have his blankee with him. I started calling Gina, then Mark, then Gina and then Mark and then Gina and finally got a hold of Mark a while later to find out that indeed Bei had fallen asleep, but woke up from his nap with a smile on his face. Hmmm...interesting...why does he cry when he wakes up with me??? Anyway, I got into the truck and drove down and as I pulled up to their cabin, I see Bei and Morgan in the yard. I started waving furiously at Bei, I just missed him so much! He gets this mischievous grin on his face, grabs Morgan's hand and runs the other way around the house. I think I just got a 4 year olds version of the finger. He comes around from the corner and I go to him and kiss him and hug him and tell him I miss him and he says. "Mom, I'm having fun, I want you to go home." What?? I ignore his statement and say "Did you miss me?" "Nope!" Huh? Maybe he didn't hear me. "Did you miss me Bei?" Nope! I decide to let him stay a little longer and I end up talking to Mark and Gina for a while. Bei needs me in the bathroom and sadly I start badgering him. "How much did you miss me?" And I show different measures with my hands. And he says "Nuthin" I'm crushed! But the idea starts creeping into my mind that this is a good thing. This has been my goal all along, I just needed a kick in the head to realize that Bei's self-confidence and independence are a good thing for the both of us. Nobody said I have to like him growing independent, but I promise I will stop badgering him every time we are separated and will support his independence in the future...I admit, I stumbled the first two rounds but will come back in full support in the future. Nobody said raising kids was easy, it is actually very very hard! But I am loving it!


Family Pictures

Once Uncle Nick picked up Kai he wouldn't go to Dan or I...little rascal!
Now where are the keys Uncle Kevin to start this machine??

Bei loves diggers and loaders and all types of machinery...thanks for the ride Uncle Kevin!

Beautiful Baby!

Matt and Bei check out the Koi fish in their newly created pond

Kai loves to boat!

This was a much needed sisters weekend with our husbands. There is something about sisters, that they are able to fill up your emotional cup and give you the boost to keep going. Not to brag but I really have the two best sisters in the world! Lucky me!


Just Pictures

The blue dye in these ice cream bars from the Ice Cream Truck guy should be "outlawed". It takes days for the blue to come off of Bei's lips!
Kai on his first train ride out of Spooner, Wisconsin with Grandpa Bob and Grandma Dene.

The entire gang was in town.

Look who came back for a visit...Huckleberry!