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The Most Delicious Dessert that You Ever Ate...

For some reason I think of food when I think of Kai...he is just deliciously yummy, like the most delicious dessert that you ever ate! Honestly, you will want to just eat him up when you meet him. Just to give you a peek into his personality, he is happy, happy, happy! He will be in my lap and sucking on his bottle and we will make eye contact and I will smile and he will just bust into a huge double dimple smile...like I said he is just yummy! He does the happy dance when he takes a bath or is in someone elses arms and see's me. I think he likes me...Me? I am crazy for him! He is a sweetie who loves to be held all the time and I love holding him. I kiss on him all the time and one day he gently grabbed my face and brought his open mouth to me 4 times in a row. I figure that was his way to kiss me back. Honestly, it is an act of love on my part because kissing him is like kissing Niagara Falls. His kisses are very wet and messy, but I will take them any day!
So here is the news that I wanted to share with everyone. We had an appointment with the International Adoption Clinic (IAC) 3 weeks ago and felt like we were given a wealth of knowledge. Dr. Kang gave us advice on Kai's eating, constipation, sleeping, bonding and development. It was all very informative for us. They determined that Kai was at a 4 months old developmental level and gave us physical therapy for us to do at home with him. What they told us was that Kai had muscle strength in his legs, but no tone through out his body, which is as important as strength. He actually has no muscle strength or tone in his upper body. Today we had our first follow up appointment for the physical therapy and the therapist told me we are the first family that she has asked to come back so early in the process. She said that Kai's movements were so wrong, and he was so delayed, that she wanted to get him using his movements properly as soon as possible. Not overly reassuring to hear at first, but, I am very pleased to announce that in 3 weeks, Kai is now at an 8 month olds developmental level! This makes me so excited that our little cupcake is moving down the right track! The therapist really believes that his human interaction was extremely limited prior to us, which makes me sad for him, yet happy that he has hope for a better life with us. Please keep Kai in your prayers for continued development!

Ask and you shall receive...

Interestingly enough I can't upload any more pictures because blogger won't let me. I'm hoping my blogging career is not over because it has been a fun outlet for me, but finding time to blog these days is very hard. I am exhausted tired and should be napping but received a special request to put pictures on the blog...I am glad that people are still interested in following our journey. Hope to be able to blog in the near future. I will continue to put pictures on the blog in the meantime.

Busy!!

Brief Update: Kai continues to wake up several times in the night. It is getting easier because I figured out his routine of getting up. Usually 20 minutes to an hour after I put him down and then again at 2:30 a.m.. And then again between 5:00 and 6:00 a.m. He isn't one for alot of sleep and does take two short naps during the day.

Bei is struggling somewhat with being "dethroned". This week we had alot of acting out, peeing his pants, telling me he wanted our neighbor Alison for his mom (It crushed me!). In the two years that we have been together he has never said a mean word to me. Some kids go through the "I hate you stage"...not my angel...he just wants a new mom...poor fella. It is very hard to realize you are not the little emperor any longer.


Okay, before I go I have to share one story with you. There is a BIG difference in the way that Dan and I watch the children. Me, I watch the children, that is what I do. I feed them, play with them, sing with them, dance with them and basically hang out with them. If a dish makes it into the dishwasher, it is a good day. Dan on the other hand has a totally different concept of "watching the children". Here is how it went with Dan "watching" Kai last weekend, while I tried to take a nap with Bei; I hear Dan and the baby playing and talking and I was just about ready to fall asleep when I hear the baby fussing. I'm listening for Dan, when all of a sudden I hear the drill in the next room. I am about ready to get up when Dan goes and starts talking with the baby and I hear the baby is happy again. I am about ready to drift off to sleep again when I hear crying and fussing from the baby, so I listen and I hear Dan out in the garage hammering, he has the garage door open and is trying to talk to the baby in the house to keep him quiet...it is not working. He comes in and the baby quiets down. Again, I hear the baby cry and I hear the wash machine going downstairs. This crazy scenerio last about an hour until I finally get my tired arse out of bed and go deal with the baby. Dan proudly announces that he did 65 loads of wash, built a toolshed, hung the drapes in the boys room and solved the oil spill problems in the gulf coast...great Dan...but what is the one thing you didn't do? Watch the baby!!!!

Tough Love Moms

Kai with one of his new toys from Aunt Julie
After a bath

Handsome Boy!

I don't know what I was doing with Bei prior to getting Kai, but I think it vaguely resembled parenting. I always admired those women that I call "Tough Love" mom's. You know the ones...the moms that have boundaries, say no to their children often and take care of themselves in the meantime. I just couldn't find the way to say no to Bei or let him cry and "tough it out." I always thought, that he has been through so much and he is trusting me, I can't let him down. Well...guess who is becoming a "tough love" mom...yes me! Here is an example of what use to happen; Bei would be hungry in the morning, so I would make him oatmeal. Bei would taste it and say, "it is too lumpy." Okay, let me make a new batch, "this one it two smooth." Another batch, "too hot", "too cold", "too flaky", "too salty", "too icky". All new batches... And finally Bei would say, "I want eggs." Okay, so I made eggs. This week, I served him oatmeal and he didn't like it. I tasted it and it was not fit to be served in a nursing home cafeteria...yuck! Okay, so I poured a bowl of Cheerios for him. He started the "it is too soggy", "too hard", "too milky", "too lumpy", "too yucky" and he wanted to eat my Cheerios instead. Nope! I poured yours at the same time and eat yours because we are leaving in 15 minutes and I don't care if you are hungry or not...what? who me? Can I really be a "tough love "mom after all? I think so! Having two children is alot different than having one child, you are more tired you don't have patience and you realize you need to put boundaries around yourself and your child. This will be a win win for all of us in the long run.

The new parenting really started in China with Dan. I had not overly prepared Bei for getting a new sibling because avoidance and denial had always been effective tools for me. Well, Dan didn't think along the same lines. When Bei acted up in China and wanted to ride in the stroller we bought for Kai, Dan got down on his knee and said, "Bei you are no longer a baby, you are a big boy and that stroller is for the baby." Gulp! Oh no Dan! You let the cat of the bag! I was hoping that Bei wouldn't notice that we were adding a child to the family! If he asked me "mom, why are you feeding that baby?", I was going to use the denial method..."what baby?" "Are you sure you see a baby Bei?" "Maybe you should go lie down you must not be feeling well." Well, Dan was right because Bei has stepped up to the plate and he realizes now he isn't the baby anymore and I think he is okay with being the big brother.

Kai is now a happy eating, sleeping and pooping machine!! Two blowouts in two days! Yeah Kai! I just love that little boy! He is super sweet! Bei still has his nasty cold and fortunately is getting lots of sleep!

Thanks again for all the prayers and support!

The Pooping Has Begun...

First of  all, I wanted to thank everyone who has supported us this past week with emails and phone calls regarding Kai's constipation issue's.   We really needed the advice of the veteran parents and so many of you stepped up with great suggestions.   We implemented many of those and tonight at 9:00 p.m. the little guy pooped on his own.   I think we are on our way with getting his digestive tract on track.   Our challenge with him is that he doesn't like fruits that are sweet or tart, he pretty much wants bland food.  

We decided to take both boys to Urgent Care last night because they both have had fevers, terrible coughs and then Kai had the constipation and the insomnia issues also.   We basically got a clean bill of health for the both of them and the Dr. said she couldn't prescribe anything but she knows in the old days her mom would have stuck some Brandy in the bottle, but that she couldn't recommend that...wink wink.   Don't worry we didn't do that, but it was tempting...   I committed to holding the baby all night if that is what it took to get him to sleep, and that is what I did.    I decided to sleep at the same time, so I sat on the couch and we slept together.   He would wake up every hour and I would rock him back to sleep, and then at 3:00 a.m. I put him on Bei's bed and he slept til 6:00 on his own.   I think I got him over the jet lag hump.   Dan and I were getting worried because Kai seemed to be deteriorating before our eyes due to the lack of sleep.   It broke my heart.  We received this beautiful happy boy and the past two days he never smiled, his eyes were so red and he was just unhappy.   I think he was wishing he was back on Wuyishan Mountain with two old people who mummified him with clothes, where he wasn't constipated and he got to sleep!   But he was with us two bozo's instead and we had messed up his diet and his sleep.   Around noon today, we seem to get our old Kai back, smiles and giggles and no red eyes.   He took a three hour nap this afternoon and went to bed at 10:00 tonight.  Let's hope that he sleeps through the night...he needs the rest.  

 

I'm including two pictures, one of Kai from when we were in China.  I haven't downloaded any pictures since we have been home.   And a picture of our friend Anita and her newly adopted daughter Elizabeth.  

Everything is going according to plan...NOT!

I spoke with both of my sisters this morning and they asked me how it was going.   And I told both of them that it couldn't be going better.   My mom called the same day around noon and asked me how it was going and I said "Well...let's see, the baby is constipated, won't take fluids, will only eat formula, won't let us put him down in his crib, doesn't sleep during the night but doesn't sleep during the day, oh and he holds his breath when he cries until he turns blue...oh..and he has a slight fever and a bad cough...other than that everything is going as planned... My mom and I laughed and I told her that I told Jeannine and Nanette that everything was going great, but I realized in the 4 hours since talking to them I just think it is going good because the baby doesn't cry much.  Only when we put him in his crib.    The good news is that my mom told me of a way to get the baby to drink fluid, (sugar water) and he has drank 2 bottles.  We thought of some other idea's for food for him too.  Dan also talked to his mom and she gave us some idea's too.   Well anyway, pray that his kid starts eating, pooping, drinking and most importantly sleeping!    Remember the blog about the test...am I failing yet?   I would like to get at least a C-....for the baby's sake. 

 

No pictures again...sorry...