Being Bullied!

 Bei and Dan's relationship has really grown and deepened in the past year.  They definitely are buddies.

When Bei did his first homework assignment, I thought "uh oh...he hasn't lost his Chinese because surely that was not English that he was trying to write."    It is amazing how improved his work has become in such a short amount of time.

It is not Bei getting Bullied at his school, BUT me!   Let me tell you about the first encounter.   This was during the time that Kai had been really sick for two weeks.   It didn't matter that Kai is covered in hives, is sicker than a dog, I still have to schlepp him along with me to and from Bei's school.   Anyway, there is a bench that the 1/2 day mom's sit on outside Bei's classroom while we are waiting for our kids to be let out of the classroom.   During the time that we are sitting there, the first graders walk down towards us to get to the lunch room.   So I am sitting there with Kai on my lap and I am giving him a bottle.   It not my usual routine but he is sick this day, and just wants to lie on my lap and take a bottle.   The first graders are led out of their room by Sister Perpetua (honestly her real "sister" name) and I notice "Little Miss Bossy Pants" right away.   She is telling the other kids to stay in line, she is overly concerned about what every one else is doing.   When she gets to the end of the hall where we are, she stops and stands right in front of Kai and I.   She doesn't say anything but starts looking him up and down like she is examining him for a medical appointment.   Finally she looks up at me and announces  "He is WAY too big for a bottle!"   Now I am exhausted, Kai hasn't slept for a week, he is screaming all night long and now little Miss Bossy Pants wants me to answer to her.   In my tired state I decide to lay down the gauntlet to her and say "Really?  How old do you think he is?"   She assesses the situation, re-examines him and states "He is 3 years old!"     HA!! YOU FOOL!  I want to scream but didn't think it was prudent since I am 40 years older than this little girl.   Instead I say, "Well he is only 2 years old...na, na, nana!"  Okay...I didn't say na nana...but I wanted to.    By this time, the little girls class has been gone for a good 5 minutes...I bet Sister Perpetua is grateful for the 5 minutes without Miss Bossy Pants.     Later that same week, I kid you not, this same little girl had another mom (not her own mom) pinned up against the wall asking her questions.   I just heard the mom kept repeating "Bossy Pants (insert her real name) you should go back to your class room now"   I think I saw fear in this womans eyes or desperation to help her get out of the situation.   I kept my head down and was grateful it wasn't me. 
The second bullying encounter is more of an exclusion of being with the 'cool kids' -  the 8th graders!   Every Wednesday Bei's school has to attend Mass in the morning.   In order to help the Kindergarteners learn the Mass they pair each Kindergarten child with an 8th grade buddy...Mass buddy's.   Now isn't that a sweet concept?   I really think it is a great idea, except our 8th grade buddy refuses to sit with us!  Okay, let me back track to explain how I am lucky enough to be going to Mass every Wednesday.   Bei loves his teacher, he loves his school, he loved the idea of having a Mass buddy,  but he hates Mass!  I would have to carry Bei in literally kicking and screaming to school on Wednesdays because he didn't want to go to Mass.   Honestly, carrying Bei into school one or two Wednesdays kicking and screaming is a feat in itself!    I already have a special needs child who needs to be carried and it is not like I get to park by the school.  That is left for buses and kid drop off.   The only thing that would calm Bei down is if I go to Mass with him...I guess his philosphy is misery loves company.   Thanks Bei!   Now believe me I am not the only mom attending Mass with her Kindergarten child and their Mass buddy is at least willing to sit with them.   I admit that there are alot of valid reasons why our Mass buddy might not want to sit with us.   It could be the fact that I am usually doing a full blown aerobic work out and weight training with Kai while sitting at church.   Look at that woman is wearing that child on her head, oh...no...now he is upside down and climbing down her back...oops...she didn't have the strength to hold him by his ankles and he fell to the pew hitting his head and now he is screaming...not for long...he is passing out...thank goodness...at least he is quiet!   Personally, I think the event that put our Mass buddy over the edge with us was when right as communion had started Kai's head got stuck in between the kneeler and the floor and I couldn't get it out.  Our entire row had gone through communion and I am on all four's still trying to get Kai's head unstuck when they return from getting the Eucharist.    That pretty much was the end of our Mass Buddy.   The following Wednesday Bei's teacher told me that Mass Buddy's mom called and said that he feels 'uncomfortable' sitting by us.   ME TOO!  I wouldn't want to sit by me either!   He is 14, he probably goes home and hugs his mom and tells her how lucky he is to have a normal mom.     Now I bring Kai's bottle to church to keep him settled...but that brings up the whole issue of dodging  Miss Bossy Pants. 
The last situation was this past Wednesday where I was apologizing to a 14 year old girl for being loud in church.   Kai was pretty good but was getting restless towards the end of Mass.   He started playing with the hymnal book which sits in a wooden grate on the back of the seat in front of us.   A girl two pews ahead turned around and gave me "the look".   I meekly mouthed "sorry" to her and she gave me 'the nod' like an old school marm.    I think she might be Miss Bossy Pants older sister.
So that is my life of being bullied at the Catholic School!


leah said...

Hi Liz! Oh my goodness, your boys are so cute.

Just in case you didn't see my reply on my blog, I was going to say that Nolan has a mixed hearing loss, so we have trouble getting his aids to work well for him, even at his current moderately severe level. He has a reverse-slope loss to begin with, which is hard to aid (he has the worst hearing in the low frequencies). And then the conductive component (about 15dB worth) requires more power to get him to the speech frequencies, so he's maxing out his current aids.

If he loses any more hearing and lands squarely in the severe range for most frequencies, we have a few options. We can look at higher power hearing aids (like the Naidas), revisit the idea of a BAHA (but he's too severe for candidacy for that device now), or consider a cochlear implant if he is deep into the severe range and his hearing aids don't work for him any more.

High power aids make the most sense, but he is often unaided due to frequent, chronic ear infections (he is on his fourth set of tubes at the age of four, going on his fifth). If he is unable to tolerate earmolds, we're going to have to figure something out for him.

He's still a way from CI territory, though - we monitor frequently since we KNOW Nolan has lost hearing over time. He used to be 40dB rising to "normal" (or mild) and now is 65dB rising to 55dB (at least, as of last July). Right now, he is unable to hear my husband speak at all, even aided, so we are trying to get in for a hearing test on December 2.

nina said...

Oh, Liz, haven't looked at your blog for a while but it cracks me up everytime I do! We have some bossy pants at our school too, and yep, it is a girl too! I am glad you can be Bei's mass buddy and I am still laughing about Kai's head getting stuck! You should write a book!