Thankful!!!

It is that time of year to give thanks for all that you appreciate.  I wanted to give thanks to those people who have touched our lives and have influenced it in the positive.  I really appreciate the people that have been there to offer their help and also those who have just been there with a kind word or phone call or some advice when needed.   All of it has help me keep my sanity these past 6 months.  


 I am so very grateful to my husband that he works, so I can stay home with the kids.  Dan not only has a strong work ethic at work, but he is a work horse at home too.  He can never sit still.   He always says he should be skinny because he is alway moving and it is true.   But those who know Dan, also know where the extra pounds come from...it rhymes with Deer.   The thing I appreciate the most about Dan though is the fact that he is present with the kids when he is home.  He isn't on his blackberry or hiding out in the garage, he is engaged with the kids and you can tell it energizes him.   As a husband, I love Dan's personality, he makes me laugh alot.  He see's the funny in about anything and everything, which makes going through life with him light and fun.

Both Dan and I have been blessed with the most wonderful families.   It also was one of the reasons that I was attracted to him back 20 odd years ago.  His parents are the most loving and giving people that you could possibly meet.   I am so grateful that Bei and Kai have such wonderful grandparents.   I am extremely grateful also to Dan's brother Mark and his family, Gina, Blake and Morgan.   They have been so supportive of both children, but were able to give Bei his first taste of independence by having him down to their cabin all summer long.   It built up alot of self-confidence for him.  I'm so thankful for those positive experiences of indepence for Bei prior to going to pre-school.

I am so very grateful for my mom, because she is a one of a kind type of person.   Funny, self-deprecating, sharp-tongued, witty and gives the best advice that a person ever needs.   As you have read in the blog, she will give me the swift kick in the arse that I need at times.   I listen to her advice because I know that she loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me and my children.  

Both Dan and I come from close sibling groups, we are close to our brothers and sisters.   My brother, Nick and sisters, Nanette and Jeannine have always been my support system my entire life and even though we live in three separate states, we continue to turn to each other for support, but most of all friendship.

The thought of moving from my neighborhood sends a shiver down my spine.  Yes, the house is on the market, but it hasn't sold yet.   I think it is because God knows that I need my wonderful neighbors who have been so supportive and helpful to me.  Georgia, Maria, Sheila, Sue and Jocelyn have all helped me at different times when I have been in need.   Never once did I feel that they felt put out.   Whenever one of them helps me out, I always think of the phrase 'It takes a village.'   And with family not living close by like the old days, my neighborhood has become my village and I'm fortunate to have such caring neighbors and friends.

I have to do a special shout out to my dear friend Becky.  That girl did more to keep my sanity in line than anyone.   She always has a smile on her face and in her voice.  She never sat still for two minutes and even though she knew that I couldn't do much because of Kai, she always called to include me.    Whenever we were together, she never hesitated in helping with Kai or Bei, even though she had her hands full with Nick Nick.    She was just a very fun person to be around and I am so happy that we became friends.  

I can't even express to you how grateful I am to the International Adoption Clinic, specifically Dr. Kang and her contact Beth Andrews.   Those two people have changed the course of Kai's life because they have been responsive, compassionate and advocated for this little boy in need of medical attention.   When we have been throw into the fire by other medical centers, I have called them and sought their help.  They have embraced us every single time we have called.   Most recently they met me at the ER after Kai ran a 105 temp and had a grand mal seizure.   The called the ER for me to tell them that we were coming and we were able to walk right in.  As true as their word, they both came to check on us and make sure that Kai was going to be okay.  They have gotten Kai his seizure medication when Kai's neurologist kept forgetting to call in a refill.   They have gotten me doctor appointments with doctors that had waiting list.  I consider them a big part of my support team and I am so thankful that they are a part of our lives.  

Boys getting pulled around on a rug by cousin Elly

Lastly, I am so grateful for my two little men in my life.   I love them sooooooooooooo much more than I ever dreamed possible.   They bring alot of LOVE and JOY in my life.  I am so grateful to God that he chose me to be their mom.   I feel that I am the luckiest woman in the world!  And for that I am thankful!

Being Claimed and some exciting news....

Do you remember when we first got Bei, and I had shared the story of a woman that adopted 4 children and she said at some point you get 'claimed' by the child as theirs?   Bei instanteously 'claimed' me the first day.   The bonding with Kai Kai Sweetie Pie has definitely been a different journey than Bei's.  Besides all the multiple development and medical issue's, Kai seemed lost and anxious at times.  He could not be content just sitting in my arms for even the shortest period of time.  He was over the top active and constantly seeking stimulation.  There was a lack of contentment about him.   Reaching out for every and anybody to take him and not finding the peace and comfort in his own mama's arms.    Bonding is always on the child's terms, so I have been patiently waiting to be claimed by Kai and it has paid off because I finally feel claimed by him!    It has taken 6 months, but it has come, in the small things, like wanting only his mama when he is tired, wanting only me to feed him, wanting me to hold him and not reaching for everybody else.  But even more importantly, he has seemed to have found contentment and can sit on my lap and just be still.   My sister came to visit yesterday and we haven't seen her for over a month and she walked in the door and looked at me holding Kai and she said "he is finally yours."   I was so excited that someone else saw it too that I almost cried.   Don't get me wrong he is still a friendly little guy and will go to most people, but when he is tired he wants me and it feels incredibly good to be claimed by him.     

 

So here is the big news about Kai...drumroll please....Kai Kai Sweetie Pie has officially taken his first steps!!!   The fun part is that he walked first for my mom and niece who are visiting from Chicago.    He stayed up last night til almost midnight walking from person to person and smiling and giggling because he was so proud of himself.   I have to admit that his big ole head literally gets to be a little heavy for him and it sways him but once he builds up his core and neck muscles watch out world!   The physical therapist always says "for Kai there are no problems, only solutions."    If you saw how busy this kid was and how hard he works and how focused he is, you would be awed and amazed by him.   He definitely has the Krueger work ethic!  I'm proud of my boy!

 

The pictures are of Bei and his two cousins, Elizabeth and Taylor making cookies this weekend.

Morgan and Bei sitting together.

My house is small so it is easy for me to keep an eye on my children at all times, but for a moment this week I couldn't find Kai.  He had been in the bathroom but I didn't see him in there any longer, so I searched the two bedrooms, kitchen and living room...that is it...there is no where else to look.  I went back to the bathroom pulled back the shower curtain and there sat Kai Kai Sweetie Pie.   He must have taken a header into the bathtub because I don't think there is a graceful way for him to get in the tub by himself.  

Bigger Pictures

Kai escaping once again...

Bei feeding the animals

This post is actually a test of a new feature, that gives more editing control to the blogger.   Let me know if you like the larger pictures.     

:Fall Pictures

Our friend Lily came over and trick or treated with Bei. They had so much fun!

Bei loved being a dragon! Kai hated his pumpkin outfit for Halloween, so we took the picture and off it came. On Sunday he was diagnosed with his 3rd ear infection. Hmm...perhaps we are onto the culprit of the sleep issues with him. Tubes may be in his future.

I love his messy little face!

Our beloved playmate, Nick Nick moved this week to South Carolina! I can't express how much we are going to miss them. Becky is one of the most happy and genuine, salt of the earth people that you could meet. I feel fortunate to have met her. There is a reason God chose her to be Nick's mom, they both are very special people.

A friend told me a while back to get Kai in for pictures before he lost his "baby-face". I think I am too late on that one, he has definitely moved into the toddler phase. Kai can stand on his own for up to 20 seconds...my baby continues to awe and amaze me! Go Kai, Go!

When I looked at this picture, I realized what a growth spurt Bei has had recently.

My Hero!

Kai's name in Chinese means Victorious Warrior Coming Home after War.   We definitely gave him the right name because he is fierce, courageous, adventurous and is my little hero.  When I think back to where he was in April of this year developmentallyand emotionally and where he is today, his progress is beyond belief.  The turning point for his progress was when he was diagnosed with seizure disorder in late August.  As most of you know most of the children being adopted from China are medical Special Needs.  When we decided to expand our family, I have to be honest, we wanted a child that had minimal special needs.   We found Kai and he fit that criteria perfectly, he was 6 months old when we first reviewed his file and was diagnosed with external hydrocephalus.   External hydrocephalus is usually a bruise and small collection of fluid on the external part of the brain and is considered a benign condition.  It normally corrects itself by age 18 months.   We had Kai's CT scans reviewed by two separate neurologists and they both said there was no fluid and he appeared perfectly healthy.  What we didn't know was that he had undiagnosed seizure disorder.  In order for you to understand how far this little guy has come, I have decided to devulge more detailed information about Kai's medical issues. 

 

The first time I saw Kai, he was beautiful, smiley, and happy just like the pictures showed.  But something was amiss, something beyond his severe developmental delay.  He didn't seem as connected to his surroundings or me as he should be.  There were times that he seemed to be spaced out, his breathing would be shallow and he would turn blue, specifically around the mouth and eventually bubbles would come out of his mouth.  I didn't know at that time that what he was having was called Petty Mal Seizures.    As the weeks went by, Kai and I were bonding alot slower than I had expected.   I feel fully responsibility for that because if you remember with Bei I had these strict boundaries that nobody could hold, feed or comfort Bei.   With Kai that all went out the window.  I was jet-lagged, tired from lack of sleep, exhausted from the constant physical demands of carrying almost a quarter of my body weight and I now had two kids who both were physically and emotionally needy.  But I felt like it also had alot to do with this "spacing out turning slightly blue thing too".    In August Kai took a knock to his head, which turned out to be an odd blessing.   It appeared that the knock to the head heightened his seizure, which made the seizures much more tangible, something that I could actually video tape, which I did.   Remember, the saying "Pictures paint a thousand words", because they really do!   In my initial meeting with the neurologists I tried to describe Kai's seizures, but I felt dismissed by the doctor.   Unfortunately, Kai passed out during that visit with the neurologist and he totally focused on him passing out.   And I was like ya, ya, he passes out but that is not why I am here...there is something else going on here.   I left feeling frustrated and somewhat defeated.   However, for the second meeting I  went armed with video of the seizures and "wa la" Kai was put on anti-seizure medicine that day!   His seizures are considered generalized seizures which is more moderate than a petty mal, but not as severe as a grand mal seizure.   

   

Now here comes the best part...Kai changed almost instanteously with medication.    He is super independent, he is tenacious, he is smart, he is courageous beyond belief.  This week I put Kai in the car, it was his nap time and he was crying.   As I was driving I reached my right arm around my chair and lightly rubbed his foot.  He jammed his foot into my hand and stopped crying.  When I pulled my hand away, little cries would peep out of my little guy.  Okay, I will rub your foot my little warrior as I drive.  And to see his face light up when he is able to stand a few seconds without falling is priceless, he is so proud of his own accomplishments.   Watching him in his 2 hour therapy sessions every week is amazing.  I don't think any other child would have the tenacity and sheer willpower to work as hard as he does without fussing.   The therapist tell me he is going to be perfectly fine because he is so driven.  And he is!  Because boy you better not help him if he doesn't want it because he will rip his arm out of your hand so fast and will show you that he can do it himself.   I am so blessed to have this victorious little warrior in my life!!!!   

Uncomfortable Conversations...

Let me share with you a conversation that Bei has been having with me daily for the past several months; "Mom, I don't want to die" Bei will say in a pleading voice. "You aren't going to die, Bei." "I want you and me to die together mom" "Okay Bei, I already have told God and he knows that" (wink wink God...we really don't want this to happen) "Mom, why aren't you ever going to die?" (Oops...did I say that once?)
This is a conversation that we have daily and every angle I take at it won't seem to put it to rest. So this weekend all of us are driving in the car and Bei starts his daily dying conversation "Mom, I don't want to die." "Okay, Bei, you won't". "Mom, I want you and me to die together" Dan interrupts him and sternly says, "Bei that is enough, we don't want to talk about dying every day. I don't want to hear another word of it". I am grateful to Dan for stepping in and ending this exhausting conversation, but I start feeling guilty. I'm thinking poor kid just wants to understand dying and I don't know how to answer the question. I am going to have to think of a way to bring it back up to him so he doesn't end up in therapy over the fact that his parents wouldn't let him talk about dying, morning, noon and night. But I should not have feared...after about 5 minutes of total silence in the car, I hear Bei say "Mom?" "Yes honey?" "I don't want to die..." I guess the kid won't be in therapy after all...he is a persistent kid!

HGTV

If you ever wondered why you don't ever see pictures of the boys together, the top 4 pictures pretty much answers that question. By the way, Kai usually wins as you can see, he finally escaped!

The next picture is of Bei going to the state fair with one of his cousins Gina who we call Saint Gina because she is the sweetest nicest person you would ever meet. I gave each of the kids money to spend at the fair, so what does Gina do with hers? She buys a bunch of gifts for Bei and Kai. She is a very sweet girl!

Dan came home about two weeks ago and said he wanted to move...what? where? when?...now? Good Lord Dan don't you think we have had enough changes in our lives in the past two years??? We built our house as newly weds so we have been here a very long time! To get our house ready for sale, I went into Project Management mode and came up with a three-pronged strategy; fold the unending piles and piles of wash that refuse to fold themselves, second - throw as much junk into the dark recesses of the nearest closests and then clean the house like it has never been cleaned before. It seemed like a reasonable approach to me, however since I was feeling overwhelmed I called my super-organized, workhorse, friend Terrie and asked her if she would spend a day with me getting my house ready for sale. So Terrie comes in and she starts pulling everything out of my kitchen cupboards and I mean everything! Uh...Terrie, there is alot of work to do, let's get folding and hiding the junk. Nope, she said that we need to declutter, organize and clean the kitchen, starting with the cabinets. Uh...isn't that where we are going to be hiding everything??? Wrong again! She informed me that people will be looking in my cabinets to see the amount of storage space. I call my agent and she confirms Terrie's message to me!!! For a non Type-A person like myself I think this is crazy-talk! I'm starting to hate the TV network HGTV, which I believe is the culprit of all this "showroom house" madness. Why can't people all accept that we all live in our houses and there is clutter, dust and unscrubbed toilets? Oh how I am missing the old days right about now. I can see how the first call from my agent is going to go; I will be putting the final touches on my Broccoli, Cauliflower, Onion and Cabbage soup, when I get a call from the agent saying they will be here in 10 minutes to show the house. It may look like a "showroom" house but it definitely won't smell like a "showroom" house!