For some reason I was under the misconception that I was in total control of Bei's development including his independence from me. However the reality of life somehow likes to come along and kick me along side the head every now and then. The first time I realized I wasn't in total control of Bei's every thought and therefore his life, is when he told me he wanted Alison to be his mom. Let me fill you in on the details of how that all went down. We had spent the morning with Alison and Savannah swimming in our pool. I had noticed that Bei was all over Alison the entire time. Climbing into her lap, hugging her and wanting to be by her all the time. We had just gotten home with Kai and I attributed his need for physical attention to the fact that I was busy with Kai. The odd thing about it is that Bei doesn't know Alison that well, they recently moved into the neighborhood and he had no prior relationship with her. So, Alison and Savannah left and Bei and I were having lunch, when Bei mentioned that "I think Alison should be my new mom and you can be Savannah's mom." Uh...no...that is not how it works....Bei kept insisting that he wanted Alison to be his new mom. Okay, I admit, I started getting jealous... "Bei honey, what do you like about Alison?" Bei's response was "Her skin." Her Skin? "Mom, why is her skin brown?" What? "Mom, why is Alison's skin brown?" Let me describe Alison to you...she is a young, blue eyed, thin blonde with what I would call beautiful sun-kissed skin. You know the kind, it is golden year round and doesn't look like she will ever age... Okay, now I am a scorned mother...he is insisting on a young beautiful mom with unwrinkled, sun-kissed skin and instead he has me! What I really wanted to yell was "If Alison is your mom she isn't going to give you 65 popsicles everyday or let you eat Cheetos for breakfast and she is a bad driver and...and...and...I would make up stuff if I had to...sad on my part, I know. But I gained my composure and instead I said, "okay after nap time we will talk about Alison being your new mom". This next part is kind of mean on my part, but I wanted to nip this in the bud; After Bei woke from his nap, I cuddled him and then said, "okay, lets go get a suitcase to pack your clothes and you can pick two toys out to bring to your "new mom's" house. The rest of the toys are staying here. I sure will miss you Bei." Bei smiled and said that he wanted me as his mom after all. Wheww...that was a close one! Okay, it may be trivial stuff to you all, but it was the first time that I realized that I might not be the "total cats meow" in Bei's world.
So onto the second kick to the head. Recently we were at our cabin and Bei went to visit Dan's brothers kids who have a cabin 2 miles down the road from us. Now, Bei hasn't spent much time away from me. We have never had a babysitter even, but he has gone down to Mark's cabin for an hour or two at the most. Anyway, he was down there for several hours when I asked Dan if he would go down and pick him up. To be honest, I was missing him! Dan came back and there was no Bei. Uh oh...where is Bei? He had gone to Shell Lake with Mark's wife...big uh oh...panic set in for me! I knew he was tired and would fall asleep in the car. I worried that when he woke up he would be scared and cry and scream for me. And to top it off, he didn't have his blankee with him. I started calling Gina, then Mark, then Gina and then Mark and then Gina and finally got a hold of Mark a while later to find out that indeed Bei had fallen asleep, but woke up from his nap with a smile on his face. Hmmm...interesting...why does he cry when he wakes up with me??? Anyway, I got into the truck and drove down and as I pulled up to their cabin, I see Bei and Morgan in the yard. I started waving furiously at Bei, I just missed him so much! He gets this mischievous grin on his face, grabs Morgan's hand and runs the other way around the house. I think I just got a 4 year olds version of the finger. He comes around from the corner and I go to him and kiss him and hug him and tell him I miss him and he says. "Mom, I'm having fun, I want you to go home." What?? I ignore his statement and say "Did you miss me?" "Nope!" Huh? Maybe he didn't hear me. "Did you miss me Bei?" Nope! I decide to let him stay a little longer and I end up talking to Mark and Gina for a while. Bei needs me in the bathroom and sadly I start badgering him. "How much did you miss me?" And I show different measures with my hands. And he says "Nuthin" I'm crushed! But the idea starts creeping into my mind that this is a good thing. This has been my goal all along, I just needed a kick in the head to realize that Bei's self-confidence and independence are a good thing for the both of us. Nobody said I have to like him growing independent, but I promise I will stop badgering him every time we are separated and will support his independence in the future...I admit, I stumbled the first two rounds but will come back in full support in the future. Nobody said raising kids was easy, it is actually very very hard! But I am loving it!