Love Grows

We are coming up to a year of our anniversary of picking up Kai in China. Even though this has probably been the most physically strenuous year for me, it has also been one of the best years of my life. If I could put a title to these past 12 months it would be simply "Love Grows". Not just for Kai, but for Bei, Dan, my family, and most importantly, my Lord and Savior.

Each time you adopt, it is like opening up a box of chocolates...you just don't know what you are going to get. When we adopted Bei, I was a first time parent. I was expecting that I would love Bei and do all the emotional heavy lifting. He was 2.5 years old, and had gone through many changes in his life already. I imagined I was going to be dealing with a somewhat scarred child. And boy, was I wrong! That little boy SMOTHERED us in unconditional love from day one. The amount of kissing, and physical hugs were unbelievable. His love for us was so unexpected that it blew me away and still does to this day. He must tell me at least 10 times a day that he loves me. He won't be able to comprehend that it doesn't even compare to the amount of love that I have for him, until he has a child of his own. That little boy was made to be mine. I totally "get him" and understand who is and he is just perfect in my eyes.

You all have witnessed us opening our second box of chocolates, when we adopted Kai. There were a few surprises along the way, developmental delay and seizure disorder. From an emotional standpoint, he was a happy child, but he didn’t bond with us immediately. He could have easily left with any person that visited us. Many times while being held by others, he didn’t want to come back to me. What Kai didn’t know was that I had secret weapons in my pocket, called faith and unconditional love. We had been taught the power of unconditional love through God, our parents, and most recently Bei. My faith allowed me to know that there was a purpose and to remain faithful to what God expected of me as Kai’s mother. There were turning points along the way where I saw Kai’s walls break down slowly. One of them was the when he cried real tears instead of his thrashing and arching of the back. Another was when I dropped Kai off to my friend’s house because I had an appointment and he cried and reached out for me. I was so excited I” whoo hoo’d “and it was very hard to leave him that day because I didn’t want him to regress. My friend, Maria, understood because Kai always preferred her over me and she understood the importance of bonding. Slowly but surely, I saw the Kai’s love for us grow, I became his security and he has become a mama’s boy…just how I like my boys! I am crazy in love with that little boy and I am still falling deeper and deeper in love with him. He makes my heart sing and my eyes well up in tears because he is so incredibly special. God knew what he was doing because Kai was so meant to be my son.

This is a picture of Kai that I took last night.  Doesn't he look like a big boy?

One of the first days with our Kai Kai Sweetie Pie!