Happy Birthday Baby Brother!

Since tomorrow is this little guys birthday, I wanted to start this post with..."And his formal name is....", but we still haven't agreed upon a name for him. So, he continues to be called "Baby Brother" for right now. We recently found out that the orphanage that he is at only has 4 other children in it. A five year old, an eight year old and two sixteen year olds. Two of the 4 children have cerebral palsy, but I don't know which ones. Plus, I don't know if they are girls or boys. This information goes hand in hand with the fact that I haven't been able to find a family that has adopted from his orphanage in any of the yahoo groups that I am on. I found this incredibly interesting that this orphanage that doesn't adopt out any children, has taken the time and the resource to ensure that our little guy gets adopted out. He was also found with a birthnote, which I hope to obtain prior to the adoption day. His referral papers specifically stated that they hope that he finds love and happiness with a foreign family. He is currently living with a foster family that I can tell by the pictures are an older couple. When we have requested information they have readily agreed to pictures and updates. I think they really love him, but want something different for him. For some reason this all feels very freeing to me. There is a level of guilt that I have felt about adopting another persons child. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that any mother would choose to give up their child. With Bei, I have waves of sadness for his parents, especially his mother. She spent a year loving that little boy and all I keep thinking is that she chose the gift of life for my little man. I owe her or someone big time!! We have not even broached the subject with Bei regarding his birth mom. He knows he is adopted, and knows that we went to China to get him. He hasn't asked anything about it. He saw my sister - in -law pregnant with Anna Maria and said he was in a tummy too, but he didn't say who's tummy and I'm such a chicken little, that I didn't push it. We may be getting closer to the fact that we need to discuss more detail with him, since the Gotcha Day may be very confusing for him...or then again...maybe not! Oh well lots to think about and for right now, I just want to sign off by saying Happy Birthday to my sweet little one year old!!!