My independent little man...

Bei playing with his cousins, Blake, Elly, Morgan and Lulu

As many of you know, part of my bonding strategy for Bei has been to let him determine when he is ready to be separated from me. That included sleeping, kids activities and adult time (Dan and I going out for the evening and leaving him with a babysitter). That has meant that I haven't signed him up for classes or had babysitters. Sometimes he wouldn't even spend time alone with Dan. But now this little man has turned a corner. Several weeks ago I agreed to play volleyball and wanted to prep Bei that I would be leaving, so I told him that he would have a "boys night out". That meant Daddy would take him mini-golfing when he got home from work, but mom would not go. All day I kept hyping "boys night out". Well, dad walked in the door, it was a kiss goodbye and a wave to me from the truck and off he went. One happy little boy with his daddy. The next day we were getting ready to leave for the cabin and Bei said, "Just Daddy and Bei go, mom stay home". Well no...that is not going to work. That same weekend, he wanted just Daddy and Bei to go on the boat, no mom. Yes, that works fine...I get to read!!!! Dan thought my feelings might be hurt, but I told him, that Bei's sense of independence is a break away from me. It is natural, normal growth and it is what we want, so go ahead and take him. He is feeling secure enough to leave me and that is a good thing. Okay, I've created a monster, yesterday he wanted two boys down the street to watch him, while I ran errands and and they did. He went over to their house and was perfectly fine. Today cousin Elly, took him to the Children's Museum for the second time, those two have really bonded. He also has been sleeping in his own bed for the past 4 to 5 months. He has become a very confident little boy and I am so proud of him. Next step, is to sign him up for a fun little class to see how he does with it.

Ever Dreamt of being a Stay at Home Mom???

Here is another mom thing...assuming that all markers in my home are washable...well they are not! Bei had cat whiskers for about 4 days...this is day 3.

Being a stay at home has exceeded my expectations in so many ways and in others not so much. Since I became a stay at home mom, it meant that I had to let my housekeeper of 15 years go. Which leads me to pose this question...Am I the only person doing the housecleaning shuffle??? This is how my house cleaning goes: While cleaning the office, I don't know where to put everything, so I think, okay, I'll put "all this stuff" in my upstairs bedroom closet. Okay, I think I have found it a permanent home. Fast forward 3 months and I can hardly get in my bedroom closet and think holy crap, I need to clean this mess. So, I go through it and think I need to find a permanent place for "all this stuff", I'll put it in the basement closet. So back downstairs it goes. 3 months later the basement closet needs to be cleaned and I think, what is this stuff doing in here? It belongs in the office, how in the heck did it get in the basement closet? Honestly, I just feel like I move things from place to place.
Here is another reality check for me. I was going to brag one day on the blog about what a sense of accomplishment I get from keeping a clean house and I enjoy cleaning my own toilets...yada yada. Anyway, I swear that very day that I was feeling good about my housekeeping abilities, a 4 year old neighbor girl knocked on the door and asked if she could come over and play with Bei. Well sure! She walked in and said "Wow, your house is really a mess!". Uh oh...it was a mess! I didn't even think about it...we had come home from the cabin and clothes were everywhere. Then the clincher was, she asked me "Does your daddy (meaning Dan) know about this"? Okay, I felt like I was 4 and she was 35 years old, but I thought it was very funny, and very humbling.
Another good one is from Huckleberry whose olfactory senses are working overtime. He will walk in and say "Liz, are you cooking broccoli again?" I have nightmares that Bei is going be regarded at school as the kid who smelled like broccoli! We like broccoli and cauliflower what can I say?
One of the things that I have personally struggled with is the fact that I don't have time to take care of myself. I'm not working out, not getting the sleep I need and definitely not taking the time to do my hair and makeup like use to. However, this morning I sectioned my hair and curled all of it. I took my time putting on my make-up. Overall, I felt like I finally looked good. Okay, what are we going to do today? Bei, let's fill up the pool and water balloons. You all know where this is going, don't you??? Bei had the hose less than 30 seconds and turned it on me and sprayed me full in the face...okay, I wanted to cry, but who is the dope that came up with the idea and then handed him the hose? So those are some of the pitfalls of being a stay at home mom, but I still wouldn't change a thing about it.

Bei is a lover...

I was trying to show his cute new hair do in this picture. It looks cute in person.

LuLu was kind enough to indulge Bei on a merry-go-round. He wouldn't put both hands on the horse and instead kept his arm around LuLu's neck, so that she was in a headlock the entire time. She is one great kid too!

Bei likes his marshmellows just like his dad...burned to a crisp...mmm.mmm good!

I caught LuLu and Bei Bei taking a little snuggle time together.

Bei definitely is a lover, but what is really wonderful is that he loved by all his cousins on both sides of the family. There is a mutual worship and adoration between him and all the cousins.

I am still amazed at the fact that I got the most wonderful little boy in the whole world. He just knocks my socks off every day! I am one LUCKY mom!!!

Children are a Common Denominator

Today, while Bei and I were out and about, we were approached by three different groups of people. A Japanese lady with her granddaughter, a Somali woman with her 3 year old son and a Vietnamese couple with their two grandsons. It is not that unusual for us to get approached by people who are curious about Bei. What is fascinating to me is that all the asian's that I meet regardless of their nationality, Vietnamese, Hmong, or Japanese, they all say the same thing to me. "Your boy has a very high forehead, sign of intelligence." It is almost without fail, that they say it. Now, I have a high forehead too, but most people just shake their head and say "poor girl has an extra long face." Not one comment about my super intelligence!

Most of the asian people I meet are unaware of the adoption process, but are intrigued and very supportive . When I told the Vietnamese lady that waxes my eyebrows that we were having a reunion with the other adoptee parents from China, she asked me "if Bei's birth parents were going to be there?" I appreciate her asking questions and learning more about him and the entire process.

The caucasians that inquire about Bei are usually parents or grandparents of internationally adopted children. Most have grown children, that were adopted from Korea.

Most of the blacks that approach me are from Eastern Africa and recent immigrants themselves. Usually, from Somali or Ethiopia. Once again, they are curious and supportive.
However, I recently had an experience with a young African American girl at the city library. They have a great play area. Bei and I had been there for at least a good hour when " Little Miss Attitude" with her posse came in and scoped out the joint. I took a big gulp and thought... it may be time to leave. Honestly, I'm 4 times her age and I could tell she had seen more and she would be able to chew me up and spit me out. Best I mosey on my way... Oh no...not so fast...guess who immediately came struttin over to me??? "He yo kid?" "Yes, he's my son". "Cool, I like him". Each of her posse came up and gave Bei a high five and told me "I like your kid". Wheww...I can breathe again...I passed the library posse initation.

I have just been amazed at peoples support, including the generosity of strangers who have a kind word to say about Bei. There is some talk in the adoption community about experiencing racism and I have to say we have not experienced it. It has been an opposite effect for us; people that would never have a reason to talk to me engage me in conversation. So that is why I say children are a common denominator, everybody loves them...even Little Miss Attitude.

July 4th Pictures

Some boy time with his cousin Blake
Daddy Time

Tiger Woods watch out!

First tube ride...kinda...dad just pulled the rope back and forth from the boat...

Bei loves feeding the animals at the petting zoo.

Designated Driver!

Fireworks are Awesome!!! As long as he can't hear them!

Lots of boating time!

Bei's first fish! Caught by his cousin, but we let him think he caught it.

Once again, he is surrounded by his posse!

Where oh Where has our Bei Bei been???

Had a man to man talk with Grandpa Builder Bob

Entertained Katherine with bubbles during her sisters graduation

Went to his cousin Elly's graduation party

Met Huckleberry's new dog named Fudd...their other dog is named Elmer...you figure it out...btw, it is a chihuahua.

Enjoyed S'mores around the campfire after working hard all day...

Visited Aunt Nanette's cabin

Helped Uncle John put up the shower curtain in the newly remodeled bathroom at the cabin.

Visited the Como Zoo with Friends Max and Curly Locks

He had a visit from his Aunt Nanette

The Love Triangle

Girls Rule!!...who needs boys anyway?

Chloe he is MINE!

No, she didn't...now I'm going to have to kick some butt

Now let me makes this perfectly clear to everyone, Bei is MY boyfriend.

I know how I can get his attention...

Sara: Hey! Who is making all that racket down there??

As I looked through the pictures I realized that there was another story that developed later on in the weekend between Sara, Chloe and Bei. I thought I would share these sequential pictures once again. Honestly, I'm joking about Sara's possessiveness. She is really a sweetheart, but she is crazy about her Bei Bei!

Lily

Chloe

I wanted to share with you these pictures of Lily and Choe since I have focused so much on Bei and Sara. These two pictures capture the essence of each of these children.

Lily is very sweet and docile, and she wore a smile on her face almost 100% of the time. Lily is the one that also had open heart surgery and was in really rough shape coming from China. Out of all the children, she has probably come the farthest from a physical, emotional and mental standpoint. She is a blessing to her family, Pam and John just gush over her and you can see why, she is a beautiful little China dolly!

Chloe is a CLOWN and I meant to capitalize that word. She is a character from the word go. The picture above was taken at the Brookfield zoo while we were going through the Dinosaur Exhibit. The dinasaurs are replica's and are 20 feet tall and growl and have moving parts. Without any prompting Chloe would go up to each one and make a scary/funny face at them to scare them away. She is a stitch, I would just look at her and laugh. And that girl can swim like an olympian, she is just amazing! As Beth was chasing Chloe, Jen and I just kept saying "yep, we each got the right kids". Chloe has two brothers and one teenage sister, so they all help to manage her abundance of energy! What a great kid!

They are all such blessings and we feel very fortunate to parent them. Additionally, we have all touched one anothers life and feel lucky to have met such a wonderful extended adoption family.