More Medical...

 I love this picture of Bei and Grandpa Builder Bob!

What a beautiful face!

When I looked at my calendar tonight for the month of December, it wasn't full of doctor appointments like the past two months.   Some of the doctor appointments were scheduled, but many of our doctor visits have been unplanned visits.   Kai has had chronic ear infection that appears to be resistant to the normal amoxicillin.   He was treated with 3 different antibiotics each one stronger than the next with the last being an IV.   Hmmm...are you thinking what I am thinking?    That the reason why Kai (and me) can't get a good nights rest is because of this chronic ear infection?   So, I scheduled an appointment with an ENT doc and Praise the Lord, they are going to put tubes in his ears!   I am so excited for him!   I'm just thinking that the fluid in his ear is affecting so much of who he is, balance? sleep deprivation?  babbling/talking?   They also told us he has a mild hearing loss and that they can only test his good ear.   The doctor said they won't know if he has true hearing loss until the tubes are in.  To be quite honest, I was really impressed with how well he did during the hearing test because he was hearing alot better than I thought previously.   The other concern with Kai has been his teeth.  He has what is commonly called bottle mouth.   It is where they leave the bottle in the mouth of a baby whose teeth are developing and the teeth don't form correctly.   We were at the cabin the other weekend and all of a sudden I noticed that Kai now has a big gap between his two front teeth.  Dang!  His teeth are disingrating in front of my eyes.   Kai is missing the enamal on his two front teeth and then the next two on either side didn't develop properly.  As he is put under for his ear tubes, a pediatric dentist will come in and cap his 4 teeth and check for cavaties.   Hurray!  I know it is crazy to be excited that your child is going under anesthesia but I think these are such important things that will change his life.   So please pray for our little Kai Kai Sweetie Pie that his surgery that is planned for mid December goes well.

Thankful!!!

It is that time of year to give thanks for all that you appreciate.  I wanted to give thanks to those people who have touched our lives and have influenced it in the positive.  I really appreciate the people that have been there to offer their help and also those who have just been there with a kind word or phone call or some advice when needed.   All of it has help me keep my sanity these past 6 months.  


 I am so very grateful to my husband that he works, so I can stay home with the kids.  Dan not only has a strong work ethic at work, but he is a work horse at home too.  He can never sit still.   He always says he should be skinny because he is alway moving and it is true.   But those who know Dan, also know where the extra pounds come from...it rhymes with Deer.   The thing I appreciate the most about Dan though is the fact that he is present with the kids when he is home.  He isn't on his blackberry or hiding out in the garage, he is engaged with the kids and you can tell it energizes him.   As a husband, I love Dan's personality, he makes me laugh alot.  He see's the funny in about anything and everything, which makes going through life with him light and fun.

Both Dan and I have been blessed with the most wonderful families.   It also was one of the reasons that I was attracted to him back 20 odd years ago.  His parents are the most loving and giving people that you could possibly meet.   I am so grateful that Bei and Kai have such wonderful grandparents.   I am extremely grateful also to Dan's brother Mark and his family, Gina, Blake and Morgan.   They have been so supportive of both children, but were able to give Bei his first taste of independence by having him down to their cabin all summer long.   It built up alot of self-confidence for him.  I'm so thankful for those positive experiences of indepence for Bei prior to going to pre-school.

I am so very grateful for my mom, because she is a one of a kind type of person.   Funny, self-deprecating, sharp-tongued, witty and gives the best advice that a person ever needs.   As you have read in the blog, she will give me the swift kick in the arse that I need at times.   I listen to her advice because I know that she loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me and my children.  

Both Dan and I come from close sibling groups, we are close to our brothers and sisters.   My brother, Nick and sisters, Nanette and Jeannine have always been my support system my entire life and even though we live in three separate states, we continue to turn to each other for support, but most of all friendship.

The thought of moving from my neighborhood sends a shiver down my spine.  Yes, the house is on the market, but it hasn't sold yet.   I think it is because God knows that I need my wonderful neighbors who have been so supportive and helpful to me.  Georgia, Maria, Sheila, Sue and Jocelyn have all helped me at different times when I have been in need.   Never once did I feel that they felt put out.   Whenever one of them helps me out, I always think of the phrase 'It takes a village.'   And with family not living close by like the old days, my neighborhood has become my village and I'm fortunate to have such caring neighbors and friends.

I have to do a special shout out to my dear friend Becky.  That girl did more to keep my sanity in line than anyone.   She always has a smile on her face and in her voice.  She never sat still for two minutes and even though she knew that I couldn't do much because of Kai, she always called to include me.    Whenever we were together, she never hesitated in helping with Kai or Bei, even though she had her hands full with Nick Nick.    She was just a very fun person to be around and I am so happy that we became friends.  

I can't even express to you how grateful I am to the International Adoption Clinic, specifically Dr. Kang and her contact Beth Andrews.   Those two people have changed the course of Kai's life because they have been responsive, compassionate and advocated for this little boy in need of medical attention.   When we have been throw into the fire by other medical centers, I have called them and sought their help.  They have embraced us every single time we have called.   Most recently they met me at the ER after Kai ran a 105 temp and had a grand mal seizure.   The called the ER for me to tell them that we were coming and we were able to walk right in.  As true as their word, they both came to check on us and make sure that Kai was going to be okay.  They have gotten Kai his seizure medication when Kai's neurologist kept forgetting to call in a refill.   They have gotten me doctor appointments with doctors that had waiting list.  I consider them a big part of my support team and I am so thankful that they are a part of our lives.  

Boys getting pulled around on a rug by cousin Elly

Lastly, I am so grateful for my two little men in my life.   I love them sooooooooooooo much more than I ever dreamed possible.   They bring alot of LOVE and JOY in my life.  I am so grateful to God that he chose me to be their mom.   I feel that I am the luckiest woman in the world!  And for that I am thankful!

Being Claimed and some exciting news....

Do you remember when we first got Bei, and I had shared the story of a woman that adopted 4 children and she said at some point you get 'claimed' by the child as theirs?   Bei instanteously 'claimed' me the first day.   The bonding with Kai Kai Sweetie Pie has definitely been a different journey than Bei's.  Besides all the multiple development and medical issue's, Kai seemed lost and anxious at times.  He could not be content just sitting in my arms for even the shortest period of time.  He was over the top active and constantly seeking stimulation.  There was a lack of contentment about him.   Reaching out for every and anybody to take him and not finding the peace and comfort in his own mama's arms.    Bonding is always on the child's terms, so I have been patiently waiting to be claimed by Kai and it has paid off because I finally feel claimed by him!    It has taken 6 months, but it has come, in the small things, like wanting only his mama when he is tired, wanting only me to feed him, wanting me to hold him and not reaching for everybody else.  But even more importantly, he has seemed to have found contentment and can sit on my lap and just be still.   My sister came to visit yesterday and we haven't seen her for over a month and she walked in the door and looked at me holding Kai and she said "he is finally yours."   I was so excited that someone else saw it too that I almost cried.   Don't get me wrong he is still a friendly little guy and will go to most people, but when he is tired he wants me and it feels incredibly good to be claimed by him.     

 

So here is the big news about Kai...drumroll please....Kai Kai Sweetie Pie has officially taken his first steps!!!   The fun part is that he walked first for my mom and niece who are visiting from Chicago.    He stayed up last night til almost midnight walking from person to person and smiling and giggling because he was so proud of himself.   I have to admit that his big ole head literally gets to be a little heavy for him and it sways him but once he builds up his core and neck muscles watch out world!   The physical therapist always says "for Kai there are no problems, only solutions."    If you saw how busy this kid was and how hard he works and how focused he is, you would be awed and amazed by him.   He definitely has the Krueger work ethic!  I'm proud of my boy!

 

The pictures are of Bei and his two cousins, Elizabeth and Taylor making cookies this weekend.

Morgan and Bei sitting together.

My house is small so it is easy for me to keep an eye on my children at all times, but for a moment this week I couldn't find Kai.  He had been in the bathroom but I didn't see him in there any longer, so I searched the two bedrooms, kitchen and living room...that is it...there is no where else to look.  I went back to the bathroom pulled back the shower curtain and there sat Kai Kai Sweetie Pie.   He must have taken a header into the bathtub because I don't think there is a graceful way for him to get in the tub by himself.  

Bigger Pictures

Kai escaping once again...

Bei feeding the animals

This post is actually a test of a new feature, that gives more editing control to the blogger.   Let me know if you like the larger pictures.     

:Fall Pictures

Our friend Lily came over and trick or treated with Bei. They had so much fun!

Bei loved being a dragon! Kai hated his pumpkin outfit for Halloween, so we took the picture and off it came. On Sunday he was diagnosed with his 3rd ear infection. Hmm...perhaps we are onto the culprit of the sleep issues with him. Tubes may be in his future.

I love his messy little face!

Our beloved playmate, Nick Nick moved this week to South Carolina! I can't express how much we are going to miss them. Becky is one of the most happy and genuine, salt of the earth people that you could meet. I feel fortunate to have met her. There is a reason God chose her to be Nick's mom, they both are very special people.

A friend told me a while back to get Kai in for pictures before he lost his "baby-face". I think I am too late on that one, he has definitely moved into the toddler phase. Kai can stand on his own for up to 20 seconds...my baby continues to awe and amaze me! Go Kai, Go!

When I looked at this picture, I realized what a growth spurt Bei has had recently.

My Hero!

Kai's name in Chinese means Victorious Warrior Coming Home after War.   We definitely gave him the right name because he is fierce, courageous, adventurous and is my little hero.  When I think back to where he was in April of this year developmentallyand emotionally and where he is today, his progress is beyond belief.  The turning point for his progress was when he was diagnosed with seizure disorder in late August.  As most of you know most of the children being adopted from China are medical Special Needs.  When we decided to expand our family, I have to be honest, we wanted a child that had minimal special needs.   We found Kai and he fit that criteria perfectly, he was 6 months old when we first reviewed his file and was diagnosed with external hydrocephalus.   External hydrocephalus is usually a bruise and small collection of fluid on the external part of the brain and is considered a benign condition.  It normally corrects itself by age 18 months.   We had Kai's CT scans reviewed by two separate neurologists and they both said there was no fluid and he appeared perfectly healthy.  What we didn't know was that he had undiagnosed seizure disorder.  In order for you to understand how far this little guy has come, I have decided to devulge more detailed information about Kai's medical issues. 

 

The first time I saw Kai, he was beautiful, smiley, and happy just like the pictures showed.  But something was amiss, something beyond his severe developmental delay.  He didn't seem as connected to his surroundings or me as he should be.  There were times that he seemed to be spaced out, his breathing would be shallow and he would turn blue, specifically around the mouth and eventually bubbles would come out of his mouth.  I didn't know at that time that what he was having was called Petty Mal Seizures.    As the weeks went by, Kai and I were bonding alot slower than I had expected.   I feel fully responsibility for that because if you remember with Bei I had these strict boundaries that nobody could hold, feed or comfort Bei.   With Kai that all went out the window.  I was jet-lagged, tired from lack of sleep, exhausted from the constant physical demands of carrying almost a quarter of my body weight and I now had two kids who both were physically and emotionally needy.  But I felt like it also had alot to do with this "spacing out turning slightly blue thing too".    In August Kai took a knock to his head, which turned out to be an odd blessing.   It appeared that the knock to the head heightened his seizure, which made the seizures much more tangible, something that I could actually video tape, which I did.   Remember, the saying "Pictures paint a thousand words", because they really do!   In my initial meeting with the neurologists I tried to describe Kai's seizures, but I felt dismissed by the doctor.   Unfortunately, Kai passed out during that visit with the neurologist and he totally focused on him passing out.   And I was like ya, ya, he passes out but that is not why I am here...there is something else going on here.   I left feeling frustrated and somewhat defeated.   However, for the second meeting I  went armed with video of the seizures and "wa la" Kai was put on anti-seizure medicine that day!   His seizures are considered generalized seizures which is more moderate than a petty mal, but not as severe as a grand mal seizure.   

   

Now here comes the best part...Kai changed almost instanteously with medication.    He is super independent, he is tenacious, he is smart, he is courageous beyond belief.  This week I put Kai in the car, it was his nap time and he was crying.   As I was driving I reached my right arm around my chair and lightly rubbed his foot.  He jammed his foot into my hand and stopped crying.  When I pulled my hand away, little cries would peep out of my little guy.  Okay, I will rub your foot my little warrior as I drive.  And to see his face light up when he is able to stand a few seconds without falling is priceless, he is so proud of his own accomplishments.   Watching him in his 2 hour therapy sessions every week is amazing.  I don't think any other child would have the tenacity and sheer willpower to work as hard as he does without fussing.   The therapist tell me he is going to be perfectly fine because he is so driven.  And he is!  Because boy you better not help him if he doesn't want it because he will rip his arm out of your hand so fast and will show you that he can do it himself.   I am so blessed to have this victorious little warrior in my life!!!!   

Uncomfortable Conversations...

Let me share with you a conversation that Bei has been having with me daily for the past several months; "Mom, I don't want to die" Bei will say in a pleading voice. "You aren't going to die, Bei." "I want you and me to die together mom" "Okay Bei, I already have told God and he knows that" (wink wink God...we really don't want this to happen) "Mom, why aren't you ever going to die?" (Oops...did I say that once?)
This is a conversation that we have daily and every angle I take at it won't seem to put it to rest. So this weekend all of us are driving in the car and Bei starts his daily dying conversation "Mom, I don't want to die." "Okay, Bei, you won't". "Mom, I want you and me to die together" Dan interrupts him and sternly says, "Bei that is enough, we don't want to talk about dying every day. I don't want to hear another word of it". I am grateful to Dan for stepping in and ending this exhausting conversation, but I start feeling guilty. I'm thinking poor kid just wants to understand dying and I don't know how to answer the question. I am going to have to think of a way to bring it back up to him so he doesn't end up in therapy over the fact that his parents wouldn't let him talk about dying, morning, noon and night. But I should not have feared...after about 5 minutes of total silence in the car, I hear Bei say "Mom?" "Yes honey?" "I don't want to die..." I guess the kid won't be in therapy after all...he is a persistent kid!